Almost Human?
by BMShipper
Summary: Set mostly after the "Are you like that down there?" episode with John wondering just how "human" Dorian is and not being able to completely let go of that topic, so of course he has some more questions for Dorian!
1. Questions

**A/N: **I've written this "series" of "Almost Human" - they are John/Dorian, but not EXTREMELY slashy yet... more kind of friendship. The stories are NOT betaed, so I hope, they are not all too bad... and I'm not even sure I'm gonna post all 4 of them - depends on the feedback - but so far I've written 4 of them... it was meant as a one-shot but then I got one idea after another and yeah... so I wrote more than just 1 "chapter", but they are all playing in the same universe... A friend of mine already read the story and gave me some feedback... we'll see what I can make out of it, I have to sleep over it, but I still wanted to post the first part already! =)

Feedback is always very nice - and just for your information: English isn't my first language, so I hope, the errors aren't too extreme! =) I tried to find a beta-reader but didn't, so yeah... it's not proof-read! Only by me

**Almost Human?**

1. Questions

It had almost become a ritual for John and Dorian to celebrate after they had closed a case and the bad guys were behind bars. Just like tonight. Dorian actually really liked it, even though he mostly just sat there watching John eat and drink something.

„I've been thinking…" John said taking a sip of the beer bottle that was standing right in front of him.

The tone in his voice made Dorian grimace. Conversations that started like that didn't turn out to be the most pleasant ones and Dorian wasn't even sure he wanted to know what this was all about. Still, he was way too curious not to ask the next question.

"About what?"

"You remember that morning when you proved to me just how different you are from the MX's?" John wanted to know, looking at him.

Dorian raised an eyebrow. "You mean when I showed you my cock?" he gave back without hesitation, making John gulp.

"Why do you _always_ have to be like that?" he complained.

"I don't _have to_…" Dorian replied. "…but it's definitely funnier that way. Besides; you can call it cock, because that's what it is. No one's gonna care."

For a while there was silence between them until Dorian spoke up again. Obviously John wasn't about to go on talking otherwise.

"So… what about my cock? It must have really fascinated you if you're still thinking about it."

"That's not what this is about!" John clarified. "But I can't really wrap my head around the fact that you even have one."

"Why? Because it's bigger than yours?" Dorian smirked, causing John to roll his eyes.

"No, but I can't help wondering what you can do with it…" John stated and now it was on Dorian to roll his eyes.

"What I can do with it?" he repeated. "What do you think I can do with it? Shoot bullets?"

"You think there are synthetics that can do that?" John looked at Dorian in surprise.

"Hell, no!" Dorian blurted out. "I was joking."

"Oh!" John commented, holding onto his beer bottle.

"But if you really have to know…" Dorian started again. "I am not sure I can do anything with it. It's probably just there for the sake of looking more human."

"Okay," John gave back, taking a large sip of his beer. For a while it looked like this strange conversation was over and John was satisfied with the answers he had gotten. Until he spoke up again.

"So you can't have sex with it? You're not capable of getting it stiff?"

"I'm a synthetic," Dorian stated matter-of-factly. "Why would I wanna have sex?"

"Doesn't everyone want to have sex at some point?" John asked curiously. "I mean, you were the one telling me you were built to be able to connect with people and to feel what we humans feel. Desire for sex is a common emotion for humans."

"Well, it's probably not for me. To be completely honest with you I've never even thought about having sex with anyone," Dorian admitted. "Not until you had to bring it up just now."

"So this is my fault now?" John raised an eyebrow.

"Of course it is, and if I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what I can or can't do with my synthetic pal down there I'm going to blame you," Dorian announced. "And if I feel like I have to go ask Rudy about it I'm gonna tell him that you brought it up and that I'm innocent. Simple as that."

"You know what?" John sulked, looking like a kid that had done something wrong. "Forget that I even asked. This conversation is over now and if someone asks, I'm gonna deny it ever happened."

"If you say so," Dorian replied casually, turning his head away from John.

Damn. Now _he_ was the one thinking about things he probably shouldn't think of.

Being a synthetic – while definitely having its perks – wasn't always a good thing. Especially not in a situation like this. John might be able to erase this conversation from his memory – just like it had never happened – but Dorian knew that would be impossible for him and that at some point it probably _would_ drive him crazy. It already started nagging on him. He knew he would get to the point where he would want answers to all the questions John had just asked; where he probably needed them.

Because he was a very curious guy.

Sex had never been a part of his life so far – but thanks to John now it probably would.


	2. Sleepless night

**A/N:** So… this is the 2nd "chapter" – let me know if you wanna see/read part 3… I'm still feeling quite insecure about some parts of this story, but I'm hoping some of you like it =D It's my first time in this fandom, and like I said, I'm not a native English speaker, so if there are any mistakes: I'm sorry!

2. Sleepless night

„Damn, damn, damn!" Dorian cursed in frustration, opening his eyes and looking around. He should be sleeping right now. Or rather resting – recharging – how it was called in his language. If he didn't, who knew what mistakes he could be making the next day. That was something he shouldn't risk, but how could he find some rest when his thoughts were spinning around like that? It was like they were having a party in his head he wasn't invited to. It was no fun. Not at all.

"_Desire for sex is a common emotion for humans."_

Dorian groaned out loudly. Why his mind thought it was a good idea to replay this conversation over and over again in his head when all he tried to do was relax was beyond him.

"Could you please finally shut up and let those of us who actually _can_ get some rest?" the MX that was placed in the cabin next to his complained. "I can almost hear you think. Especially if you speak your thoughts out loud."

"Sorry," Dorian mumbled getting out of his cabin after he had unwired himself.

He had no idea where he would go but it was obvious that he couldn't stay here. Not tonight at least, but probably never again. He didn't belong down here. He wasn't like the MX's, he was different, and that fact had never been clearer to Dorian.

It was all John's fault, though. Why the hell did he have to bring up sex? And why couldn't Dorian forget this conversation had ever happened just like John suggested?

Sex had never been an issue in Dorian's life up until now, because thanks to John he couldn't help but wonder. In some twisted way John was probably right, he didn't really need a cock and it wasn't like anyone ever saw him naked anyways. He was a police robot and nothing else. He was programmed to catch bad guys and he was damn good doing just that. He should look just like the MX's _down there_ but for some strange reason he didn't.

"Could you please leave already?" the voice of another MX pulled Dorian out of his thoughts and only then did he realize that he had been pacing up and down in between the other robots ever since he had stepped out of his cabin.

"Yeah, sorry!" he apologized, walking over to the elevator and going up. The precinct was dark and completely empty when he arrived there and in that moment Dorian felt really lonely. He had never had a problem with being alone but being here now all by himself – in the precinct that usually was full of life and people walking around and chatting – was almost spooky. And it made him feel lost.

No, Dorian definitely didn't wanna stay here and wait for the night to be over. Instead, he made his way outside and before he was even aware where he was going he was already standing in front of the building in which John lived. He hadn't even realized to where his feet had dragged him but considering the fact that John had started all of this it probably shouldn't be very surprising.

But it was in the middle of the night. John would most likely be pretty pissed if he woke him up right now. So Dorian started wandering around in front of the building until not even that worked as a distraction anymore.

"Fuck it!" Dorian blurted out, standing in front of John's door a few seconds later and to prevent himself from changing his mind he pressed the doorbell once, twice, three times.

Pacing forward and back Dorian waited. And waited. And waited. Maybe John wasn't at home. Maybe he had taken Dorian's advice and finally, finally made a move on detective Stahl, although Dorian wasn't sure when that could have happened since they had said their good-byes at John's door a few hours ago. Dorian was sure John hadn't left this place since then.

Before he could think about it even more he heard footsteps from inside John's flat, followed by a dull sound and then there was John's voice cursing out loud.

When the door finally opened and John recognized Dorian his eyes widened.

"Have you any idea what time it is?" John blurted out. He looked tired and judging by his bed hair and the fact that he was only wearing boxers and a black tank top that showed more than it hid he mostly had just crawled out of his bed.

"Was that a rhetorical question?" Dorian gave back, because of course he just needed to activate one of his programs and would know the answer to John's question within seconds.

John let out a sigh. "Did something happen or why are you ringing me out of bed at two in the morning?"

"_You_ happened," Dorian replied frustrated.

"Me?" Tilting his head to the side John looked at him confused. "What did I do?"

"You started all this talk about sex and now I can't get it out of my head," Dorian bitched, walking into John's apartment without invitation.

"Why don't you come in?" John commented and the sarcasm was visible in his voice.

"Make it stop!" Dorian literally begged when he looked at John again. "It's driving me insane."

"I'm sorry," John apologized and he actually sounded really sincere. "But I have no idea what I can do. I can't give you the answers you're looking for, because I don't know them."

"I know," Dorian gave back. "You have to distract me, easy as that."

"How?" John asked. "What can I do?" He looked like he really wanted to make it up to Dorian and Dorian appreciated it.

"Hell if I know," Dorian replied.

"You know, if you could drink alcohol I'd offer you a glass of whiskey. Helps me when I need to relax," John stated.

There were still standing in John's hallway and even though John didn't say anything Dorian could sense that he was starting to get cold. It started out in his bare feet that were uncomfortably shifting on the floor and went up until his thighs.

Dorian almost started regretting that he had come here and that he was now keeping John awake. He should have dealt with his problem alone or have the decency to at least wait until the next morning.

"I should probably leave, there's obviously nothing you can do for me," he suggested, walking over to the door, but John's voice kept him from opening it.

"Dorian, wait!"

And then John's warm hand was on his arm and Dorian felt an unfamiliar wave of pleasure washing over him and a warm, fuzzy feeling started spreading out in his body, even though this shouldn't be happening at all. Dorian knew he was capable of emotions but not the extend that he felt them in his whole body. Right this moment he did, though, no matter how impossible it probably was.

"Why don't you stay here and we watch a couple of bad movies together?" John asked. "I can assure you, those will definitely distract you."

"And then what?" Dorian asked. Even if it helped, it would most likely just be a temporary solution.

"In the morning we're going to see Rudy," John decided with earnesty in his voice. "And then we'll get some answers to all of your questions."

"We?" Dorian couldn't help but smile at that remark. "I like the sound of that."

"You're my partner," John stated matter-of-factly. "Besides… you said it yourself, this is partly my fault because I started all of this, so it's my responsibility to make sure you're okay."

"You're just curious, admit it," Dorian teased. "And you want answers just as bad as I do."

"Maybe," John smirked.

"That wasn't a no," Dorian noted, grinning at him.

"It wasn't a yes either," John disagreed. "And now come on, let's go watch those movies, I'm getting cold just standing here."

And with that he passed Dorian by and walked into what Dorian assumed was his living room. Looking after him for a second or two Dorian finally followed him, thinking that even though he and John were bantering a lot all the time, they had really found each other without looking. Partnering them up had been an awesome idea of Captain Maldonado and without her and John he wouldn't be where he was right now. He would probably still be in some dark cellar sleeping – or rather decommissioned. Dorian would have to thank them both for that.

Later.


	3. Answers

**A/N:** So, this is now part 3 – I'm really sorry it took me a little longer than Part 1 and 2, but I had my 2 nine-year-old nieces over the last few days and you can imagine, those kids kept me pretty busy. It's actually and probably the last part since, well, the 4th part I had planned was probably really awful (at least that's what one of the 2 persons who read it told me XD) and so I might just leave it at that… not sure yet… I'm glad some of you enjoyed what I did here, though and thanks for all the comments already ;-) That means a lot to me since Almost Human is like one of my Top 3 shows at the moment and I'm still insecure writing in that fandom ;-)

3. Answers

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" John asked once he and Dorian were standing in front of the building that would lead them to Rudy's laboratory.

"Are _you_?" Dorian gave back, looking at his partner expectantly.

"No," John admitted with a grin.

"Me neither," Dorian agreed. "But we're here now and I need those answers."

"So we're gonna do this?" John wanted to know. He looked almost a little embarrassed, but that probably wasn't totally surprising considering what they were about to do and what kind of questions they were about to ask Rudy.

"I guess we are," Dorian confirmed. "But maybe you should let _me_ do the talking."

"You think?" Raising an eyebrow John looked at his partner. "Try not to scare him off, okay? You want answers and you won't get them if you behave like usually."

"I won't get them if I beat around the bush either, will I?" Dorian stated matter-of-factly.

"Probably not," John agreed.

"Just let me handle the conversation. I promise, I'll behave," Dorian replied when suddenly another voice interrupted their conversation.

"I can see you. And hear you," Rudy said. "So are you gonna come in and ask me whatever you need to know or do you plan staying outside and discuss what to do much longer? I'm just asking because if you'd rather stay outside I'm gonna get back to work."

"We're coming in," John decidedly replied way before Dorian had even opened his mouth and only a few seconds later John was already pushing him inside once he had opened the door.

"Someone's in a hurry to get some answers," Dorian teased him but walked towards Rudy alongside him.

"I just can't stand you being all edgy any longer, that's all. We're gonna talk to him, get our information and then we're out again," John informed him. "I don't plan on spending more time in there than necessary. That lab makes me feel like I'm being watched."

"Which is kind of true since there are cameras everywhere. For safety reasons, of course," Rudy stated when he approached them, the head of a synthetic in one of his hands. Which was quite normal for him since he seemed to be working on something all the time. He basically lived down here and all of a sudden Dorian's cabin didn't seem so bad anymore. At least he had his quietness there.

"What can I do for you, guys?" Rudy asked, looking at both of them alternately. "Whatever it is, it sounded pretty serious. Is it a new case?"

"No, nothing like that," John was the first to speak. "It's more of a private matter, it's kind of… you know… delicate."

He seemed pretty uncomfortable all of a sudden and when Dorian scanned his vital signs he noticed that his heartbeat had quickened and even his breathing was shallower. For a human those changes were impossible to catch onto, but since Dorian was a robot he had his possibilities. Or rather abilities. Although he most likely would have sensed his change of behaviour anyways. By now he had really learned to read his partner and he could tell when something wasn't right.

"Okay…" Rudy looked at them curiously. "So what is it?"

"Can we talk in private, please?" John demanded, causing Rudy to raise an eyebrow

"We are in private. There's no one else here."

John looked at the head in Rudy's hand, although it seemed pretty lifeless this time and unlike last time, it also wasn't talking.

"Oh come on," Rudy sighed. "It's just a head."

"What about the cameras?" Dorian jumped in. "We seriously don't need this conversation to be taped."

"Okay, now you're scaring me," Rudy admitted, but switching off the cameras right away by pressing one of the buttons. He even got rid of the synthetic head by carrying it over to the next room.

"I'm all yours now," he announced when he got back, looking at them expectantly.

John sent Dorian a look and Dorian knew even without words that it was his turn now. It was what he had wanted after all, right? So after clearing his throat to get the uneasy feeling away he started talking.

"Well, we were wondering…" When he saw the shocked expression on John's face he pulled back immediately. "Okay, I was wondering…" he corrected himself. "….well, is there any reason that I have a cock while the MX's were built without one?"

Okay, this conversation started feeling awkward already and it hadn't even fully started yet. Coming here didn't feel like a good idea anymore, even though Rudy hadn't even blinked.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" he asked instead. "You know you were built to look like a real man, while the MX's were created for the mere purpose of doing police work. They are nothing more than robots."

"So what am I?" Dorian asked. "I'm built to be a cop as well and still I'm completely different."

"Where is this coming from?" Rudy asked back. "Did something happen?"

"No, I mean…" Dorian started talking, but got interrupted by John.

"I asked him if he was capable of having sex," John blurted out. "So this is kind of my fault."

Rudy raised an eyebrow. "Why? Are you two… you know…?" he waved his hand in between John and Dorian.

John and Dorian looked at each other for a split second, then back at Rudy. "No!" they spat out simultaneously.

"Hell, no!" Dorian added. "It's just…" he let out a sigh. "Ever since John brought it up I can't stop thinking about it." It was a huge thing for Dorian to admit to something like that, especially in front of Rudy, but he was quite sure honesty would work better for him in this case.

"So… is there someone you would want to have sex with?" Rudy wanted to know.

Dorian thought about it for a moment.

"At the moment I don't think so, no," he finally replied. "But that doesn't mean it can't happen at some point."

"Right!" Rudy said. "And now you want me to give you a lesson in sexual education?"

"No," Dorian declined. "I know what to do n the act. Kind of. I have googled it."

"You have?" John looked at him suspiciously. "When?"

"Last night before I showed up at your apartment. There were a lot of videos, some of them pretty detailed," Dorian explained, turning back to Rudy. "I just need to know if I can… you know… get my equipment to work. Can I get it hard? Does it even have to be hard in my case?"

"Oh! That!" Rudy murmured and then he actually blushed, seeming extremely embarrassed within seconds.

"Yeah, that!" Dorian commented calmly.

"Well…" Rudy started, gesturing with his hands nervously. "I haven't built you as you might know, so I'm not sure it's functional, but if it is, you can have sex of course."

"And how do I know if it is?" Dorian demanded. "Is there anything I can try to find out?"

"In fact, there is," Rudy exclaimed. "You know there are male sex bots and I assume if your little pal down there is working it might be the same way to get it going."

Dorian let out a sigh. Rudy was completely beating around the bush but to be fair he might just be as overwhelmed by all those questions as he had been when John had started asking them. And at least he seemed to have a vague idea.

"Are you going to tell me what way that would be?" Dorian literally pleaded and he knew he had to be sounding pretty whiney right now.

"Right, yeah," Rudy gave back. "Sorry."

"No problem," Dorian forced a smile on his lips hoping it didn't look too strange. He just wanted to get this over with so he could go on with his life.

"Well, most the male sex bots can control their genitals by massaging that small spot underneath their bellybuttons. If they do it right they get… you know… what humans would describe as an erection. And the sex bots doing it that way get it down again the same way but since they are sex bots they are built to have a lot of resilience. They never get tired and they can last a whole night without having to stop once," Rudy explained. "It's actually pretty amazing."

"So you think I have that spot too?" Dorian asked. "And when I put pressure on it my little pal goes up?"

"Maybe," Rudy replied. "Only one way to find out. I can test it right now if you want," he offered sounding all professional again.

"I don't think that's necessary," Dorian hurriedly said. "I can try it later when I'm on my own."

"It's really no big deal," Rudy tried again.

"Yeah, Dorian, it's no big deal," John said in a teasing voice. "I'm sure Rudy would love to help you find _all _the answers you're looking for." A smirk appeared on his lips.

"Very funny," Dorian gave back. "You're just saying that because you wanna see my cock again."

"Again?" Rudy asked, furrowing his brow. "Are you boys sure you're not asking because you wanna have sex with each other? Because if that's the case…"

"We're sure," John interrupted him energetically. "This is not about us."

"I was just sayin'…" Rudy started again. "…that if this is about sex with a guy you might want to use a lot of lube or it's really gonna hurt."

"We're good," Dorian replied, pausing for a moment. "You said most male sex-bots… is there any other way?" If he had already started this, he could as well get all the answers, and if there was more to find he definitely wanted to have all the technological knowledge.

"Well…" Rudy started, letting out a sigh. He seemed a bit calmer by now, but it still didn't seem to be his favourite topic. "Some of them can control their member simply by mind control, just like they walk and talk. Even the ones that in fact have that button can learn it, but it takes a lot of effort."

"So I could probably learn how to make it rise even if I don't have that button?" Dorian asked curiously. That sounded actually quite good, because before he had thought if he didn't have that spot it was over, and now there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Although he wasn't even sure he would ever need all this information. It was good to know anyways, though.

"Yeah, maybe," Rudy nodded. "You can't be sure unless you try. But since you don't want me to test if you have this spot, I'm sure you don't need me for that."

"No, I don't," Dorian confirmed. "And I think we got everything we wanted to know. Thanks, Rudy!" He extended his hand and Rudy grabbed it, shaking it.

"Anything, although I have to admit that was kind of weird and I've never got asked something like that before. Next time you might want to have some real questions. I don't think I'm very good in explaining things like that."

"You were perfect," Dorian smiled. "I really appreciate it."

When John's phone rang he turned to look at Dorian before stepping a few feet away.

"It's Captain Maldonado," he announced. "I'm sure she's wondering where we are. We should better get going."

"Yeah, we better should," Dorian agreed, walking towards the door next to John.

"See you, Rudy," he said his good-bye and then they left the building and walked over to John's car.

"Why didn't you take the call?" Dorian asked once he sat in the passenger seat, looking at his partner.

"Because she probably just wanted to know where we are and since we're already on our way to the precinct we'll be there soon anyways," John gave back and started the engine.

"But she hates when you do this," Dorian warned.

John just shrugged. Sometimes Dorian felt like he really didn't care when in fact he was sure John really liked the captain.

For a while there was silence between them until John spoke up again.

"So are you going to try it?"

"Try what?" Dorian asked innocently, even though he was fully aware there was only one thing John could mean. Still, he just loved to tease him.

"You know what," John murmured. "Rudy's technique. Finding the spot."

"Why?" Dorian grinned. "You wanna watch?"

And with that John's heart skipped a beat and his cheeks heated up. The perspective of watching Dorian do something like that seemed to at least pique his interest.

"You wish," he gave back. "I was just curious."

"If you say so," Dorian sing-sang. "I might," he added with a grin. "Should I call you and tell you if it worked?"

Raising an eyebrow John looked at him. "I don't think that's necessary, but thanks for the offer."

They stopped in front of the precinct and got out of the car.

Dorian was already at the door when John called out for him once more.

"Dorian?"

"Yeah?" Dorian turned around to look at him.

"I'm glad you got your answers. I promise I'm not gonna ask such questions ever again," John apologized.

"Don't worry," Dorian waved dismissively. "No big deal. Let's just get to work and not talk about this ever again.

John grinned.

"Deal!" he said and then followed Dorian inside the precinct.


End file.
